An Interview (with myself)

Q. Hey, Sarah. How are you?
A. I'm good. Sometimes I get really tired and hot because I'm an insomniac and it's 87 degrees out when I walk to the bus at 8:30 in the morning.

Q. But you complained all winter about how cold it was. Are you not glad it's warm?
A. I'm Midwestern. To complain about the extremity of the weather is the nature of my people.

Q. What's new with you?
A. I just spent 5 days home in Minnesota. It was a lot of fun. I got to see some great people whom I miss and don't get to see as often as I'd like.

I go to work everyday, which is generally a good thing except when a cryptic and panic-inducing email is received that says oh hey, you know your boss? That one you hung around yesterday? Well, she has swine flu. And then you're like "wait...what?" And then you re-read the email. And then you go to the bathroom and wash your hands and pour Purell on your body and disinfect your desk and keyboard with Lysol.

Q. Wow. What did your family say when you told them about your boss?
A. My brother just laughed. My dad told me if I start oinking I'll know I have it.

Q. Someone told me you're on a bowling league, which can't be true since you suck at bowling. Can you confirm?
A. I did join a bowling league with four friends. Our shirts are purple. We play three games every Monday. Our team name is Bass Pindustries and my alias is Headmistress Queller, which if you're cool you'll know are references to the spectacularly good/bad TV show Gossip Girl.

And I'm actually ok at bowling. I mean, I'm not the top scorer or anything, but I can knock the pins down without bumpers. I think the secret of my success is to employ a technique taught to me by my creepy elementary school PE teacher: answer the phone. You follow through with your thumb on top and bring your hand to your ear like you're answering the phone. Needless to say, the other bowling teams are mad impressed by my technical skillz.

Q. I can't help but notice you hardly update anymore. What gives?
A. I know, I suck. But see, I'm terribly busy doing incredibly important things like watching the collected works of the PS22 chorus on YouTube, such as their rendition of "Don't Stop Believin'":