This Is Particularly Excellent

I am one step away from breaking into Leno's hanger full of cars and keying every last one of them. TEAM CONAN. Those assholes don't deserve him.

When The Promise of Nuggets Is Unfulfilled

Police: Ohio Woman Hit Window Over Lack of Nuggets
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

TOLEDO, Ohio (AP) -- Police say an Ohio woman punched through a McDonald's drive-through window because Chicken McNuggets weren't available. Police were called Friday to the restaurant in Toledo.

Police say 24-year-old Melodi Dushane was treated for injuries, then jailed. She pleaded not guilty to a vandalism charge. She was released on a recognizance bond and ordered not to have contact with the restaurant. The phone number for her home address isn't listed.

A manager at the McDonald's declined Monday to discuss the incident.

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To be fair, their chicken nuggets are delicious.

Oh, Nostalgia

I just returned from a week spent in Minnesota and Wisconsin for the holidays. There's always something about being around family and walking into rooms that I've walked into millions of times before, rooms that look exactly as they always have, that makes me think of my childhood.

Moments still come where I just really miss being a kid. That total lack of responsibility. Where you know other people are always there to take care of you. Where the best days are comprised of a successful game of capture the flag or swimming to the island or making a fort in the woods. I guess I've always kind of been a sucker for nostalgia. I like the bittersweet-ness of it all.

And that is why on this December evening, I've decided to compile a list the top five songs that sound like my childhood.

#1 Don't Worry, Be Happy - Bob Marley

#2 Do Wah Diddy - Manfred Man

#3 You Can Call Me All - Paul Simon

#4 Jack and Diane - John Mellencamp

#5 Beat It - Michael Jackson




What are the songs of your childhood? Tell me in the comments!

The Totally Tubular Seach for AmErIcA's BeSt VaL!

A couple of notes about this video documenting the 1982 mall contest for the best Valley Girl in America (courtesy of Videogum):

• I will now add "bag your face" to my arsenal of insults
• "43 dollars for a Polo, OH MY GOD!"
• Moon Unit Zappa. Greatest name ever? Greatest name ever.
• Also, Moon Unit, fantastic use of "gag me with a spoon"
• "It feels good inside to know you can make your mouth do that." That's what she said.
  
• Erica Freudenberg looks eerily like Heidi Montag from The Hills. Actually, it could very well be Heidi from The Hills. I'm sure they sound exactly alike and Lord knows Heidi's had some work done.
• WHO WON? Damn you, YouTube clip for cutting off before announcing the winner. Damn you to hell.
  

I Like This

Depressing (I mean it is Sylvia Plath), but I like this:

"I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in life. And I am horribly limited."

A Little Something For Your Thursday

Bon Iver
For Emma (a cappella)

Levi's Ad Campaign

Maybe I'm just a sucker for Walt Whitman, but I really like Levi's Go Forth campaign.